cerezamarrero

Down the Rabbit Hole

○ Pretty sure I'm in a Sjogren's/lupus flare. Again. It's been a tough month so far, so it's a relief that hubs can drive in daylight now.

○ My back is doing better, but still very sore. I'm hoping it's good enough to finish painting the deck this afternoon.

○ Hot flashes. Ugh. I remember being in my twenties and thirties, always cold to the bone, and wondering if I would get hot flashes when I hit perimenopause, and if it would be a good thing. It is not a good thing. I am waking up multiple times at night, and when my face gets really hot, it makes me queasy. Immediately after the hot flash, I feel frozen to the bone all over again. It's been a long while since I have felt comfortable temperature-wise. I'm going to try Black Cohosh to see if it helps.

○ I have had a daily migraine now for about three weeks. Sometimes it goes away, but comes back within a few hours. Sometimes it just sticks around for days. I think my wonky sleep is contributing to all of that. Fortunately, the headaches haven't been intense and severe so much as they have been a nuisance.

Alice In Wonderland Syndrome. It's a real condition, but when you have it, you tend to doubt your reality. I was diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy, the syndrome's companion, about 20 years ago (I was diagnosed with a lot of migraine disorders before the autoimmune diagnosis), which isn't what you might think. The seizures aren't visible to everyone because they occur in the temporal lobe of your brain and don't really affect limbs or anything. For me, the only outward sign is that my eyes go crazy, like they are dancing. When this happens, it is difficult to focus on anything, I get the body, distance and sound distortions, I usually have a very active lightshow of auras...and something else strange: I get seriously creative. 

○ The Wonderland migraine I got yesterday was one of the creative ones. I may have invented a new poetry sub-form based on alliterative verse, but more exact (I tried searching for it on the internet, but haven't seen anything close yet). I'll play around with the format today and if it goes well, I'll post one. My head is still hurting, although I am not experiencing the Wonderland symptoms this morning.

○ Met Bestie Jenn for lunch yesterday. So good to see her! She moved two hours away, so we only see each other a couple times a year now. I gave her a set of the Color Street nails to try out. She loved how easy they were to apply and how they look. Sadly, I was a struggle bug all through our visit, so we cut our time short, but I was so happy we were able to at least spend a couple hours together.

○ Hubs did a great job Monday night performing for the Boy Scout troop. He usually does close up or walk around magic, so this was a little bit of a stretch for him, but he killed it!

○ I have so much to do right now, that I am feeling quite overwhelmed. Trying to reframe things into baby steps. It's like I am truly falling down the rabbit hole while trapped in the middle of a tornado. I'll be taking things slow again today, and meditating. A LOT.

EDIT: I did find a poetry form similar to the one tickling my brain last night. It's not exact, but similar. So, pooh. I did not invent something new after all, I'm just interpreting it differently.

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