cerezamarrero

Scatter-Brained

Hi from a discombobulated Cherry. I shouldn't be feeling so overwhelmed, yet I am. A bit. Honestly? A lot. :( Maybe my brain is finally catching up with me after all the stress of the past couple of weeks? I did have migraines earlier this week, but I don't think it's brain fog from that (which is typical of the day-after migraine scenario, but I'm a couple of days past. It's one of many day-after symptoms...some symptoms are more severe) so I can only say that my brain is also scrambled (Not only do I get brain fog from autoimmune, but I wholly believe I have adult-onset ADD too...something to explore in the future because the way I have to live my life anymore, ADD could really make things more difficult. I'm very close to getting tested and since I'm on other meds anyway, what's one more if it helps me live a fuller life?) and right now I'm definitely on overwhelm mode.

Today started kinda early because hubs had a 9am client, and we left early to pick up breakfast from McDonald's. I'm actually okay with their breakfast menu...it is the rest of their menu I generally dislike. By 10, he was done. Then we went to the hardware store to pick up a new gasket for our blender, which I use a TON. Then home. Then we cancelled one hotel room in Vegas because we'll be staying near our friends who got us a good deal at their hotel. Also, in the vein of Vegas--I might get to meet a dance sister or two while we're there, so now my visit has upped its game. I went to the dispensary to make sure we're covered with our canna-medicine while in Vegas (hubs has discovered the magic of edibles before bed...his vision is too wonky to make it work through the day, but before bed, he sees now why this is how I function...). Got a few groceries we will need before we leave Monday night. I made chicken for salad or rice toppers to store in the freezer. Making Lobster Oscar tonight. We had frozen lobster already and I got some canned lump crab meat today. Add fresh asparagus and we have an awesome restaurant-quality meal in the comfort of our own home. Hubs and I are ridiculously good cooks, which is part of the reason why we both have trouble with our weight. The worst things about my own cooking are that 1) I no longer have a sense of smell. I used to be able to identify individual herbs and spices used in our favorite dishes when we dined out to where I could replicate the exact meal at home. Now, I don't have that superb definition, so I have to guess and it is not the same. I also (especially at first) was heavy-handed with the flavors I *could* ascertain...basically salty, sweet, spicy (which I CANNOT do at all anymore, and it makes me sad, because although Cuban cuisine is not spicy, I also loved Mexican, Thai and Chinese spicy dishes, but I can't handle them anymore because if the dish is sooooo hot that I can't even detect any other flavor, it KILLS me as in it's too painful to eat. My eyes have the worst time with spicy food because they can no longer water...), citric, etc. I'm better about that now that I haven't had a sense of smell in over 13 years, but I do still go overboard on cheese sometimes. 2) I HAVE to set a timer now. ADD (see above) and not being able to smell, which I sometimes used to determine when a dish was done has led to some burning of meals. That didn't happen prior to my loss of smell, and I still am not big on setting a timer, so the last thing I burned was just last year. 3) I am the s-l-o-w-e-s-t cutter on the face of the planet. In all seriousness, I sliced off the tip of my right pointer finger when I was only 12 years old, so I have PTSD now when I use a knife. My finger is fully functional, but it is misshapen still at the tip, and my finger nail oddly fused to my finger for nearly 20 years after I cut it! It's not fused any longer, but it is still misshapen. Anyway, I blame the childhood accident on my slow and inept cutting skills. haha

I really was not in a position to travel so soon, so I had unpacked and put away all of the stuff I packed for Florida a week or so ago. Now I need to drag it all out again. But now we'll be flying a budget airline and we need to travel even more lightly than we usually travel. I'll bring my backpack. Now that I might have something to actually do outside of the hotel room, I'm fretting over what to pack and what all I can stash into a backpack.

Not sure what else I can offer to the current state of my scattered brain. I want to chalk it up to stress, and I've had more than my fair share recently. That said, I think hubs's stroke has led me to believe I really do have an ADD problem. I forgot his meds the other night. He did too. But, I'm the more capable one right now. I had to put a reminder on my phone so we don't forget again. Shit's real now--this is life or death scenarios and we can't afford to be hippie laidback non-chalant right now.

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