Wishing for a Silent Night

YouTube has some awesome holiday music to sleep or meditate to this year. I think I've always relied on them over Spotify for Christmas playlists, but this year there are SO. MANY. Maybe tonight I'll be moved to write some metaphor-this is the perfect music for it. My brain hasn't been in that mode very much lately. I would have thought this year, above all other years, would have incited some random metaphoric rambles, but nope.

One thing I don't talk about much is how much I miss my family at this time of year. I was an only child, so generally I pine for the Christmases and Dias de los Reyes I spent at my grandparents' home. The only tradition my grandma didn't really carry over from Cuba was Nochebuena because she wanted Santa's visit to be the highlight on Christmas Day for my cousins and I. I started celebrating Nochebuena with my first husband, whose heritage was English and Christmas Eve (Nochebuena) was the big celebration in his family. So, we combined our traditions and I began celebrating Nochebuena too (most of my Miami cousins celebrate), and I'd make lavish feasts. We ate late and called his mom at 10pm each year for a Christmas toast. Now that my daughter (also an only child for the most part-she has a step-sister and 2 half-siblings on her bio dad's side, but he's been pretty absent from her life, and she hasn't even met her youngest sibling) is grown and can't come home this Christmas, I miss Nochebuena and preparing for Santa's visit. I also miss my mother, oddly enough. We were largely estranged when she died...on Christmas night, 1o years ago. I lost a grandma (not my Cuban grandma & I wasn't nearly as close to this grandma as my abuelita) on New Year's Eve and my mother-in-law on El Dia de los Reyes (the epiphany on January 6th). So, the holidays have become strange the past 1o years. Out of those 3 women, I actually miss my mother-in-law, Lena, the most. I'm always left to wonder though, would my mom and I have grown closer or more distant over the years? This year is especially hard since we can't be with the kids. My husband feels it, too. He's going out after a Christmas tree tonight. When his family and mine merged, we started celebrating Italian style too. We have all of these beautiful traditions between us (my daughter and I are still close to my ex's mother, so dd used to spend Christmas Eve with Launa (yes, my mothers-in-law are Launa and Lena! lol) when she was in town), and I worry those traditions will fall by the wayside and Christmas will lose its meaning in our family line.

These are the thoughts currently keeping me up at night...

In other news, the judge did not grant a dismissal on the case with the unhinged pro se litigant today, and the case is continued to January. Apparently the pro se opponent asked for it and hubs agreed. This ought to be an interesting ride.

I picked up a few stocking stuffers today for the pets and hubs. Cleaning supplies and some staples for the pantry too. Santa will only visit our house this year for the fur babies, who have been little angels this year, for the most part. Aside from the puppy fight I had to break up earlier today. I don't even know what happened; all I know is that I heard them going crazy and when I got to them, they were snarling and biting at each other and the fur was flying but neither boy seems to have any permanent damage. They are both little old men, but Primo still seems to think he's a kitten. Yes, you read that correctly. Primo seems to get up into places that seem impossible for a dog. I guess he has seen our cats go up on furniture, etc. and feels like he can do it too. And, he's still VERY HIGH ENERGY. Reno has arthritis pretty bad in his hind legs, so he can't play like he did when he was younger. I think Primo antagonizes Reno with that super energy, Reno gets grumpy and snipes at Primo and then it goes into full-blown fight. Poor Cressie hides when the boys are going at it. She's been hunkering down in my closet for the past 2 hours.

Tomorrow I go pick up my registration packet for the Santa Cause run/walk. I'm pretty stoked about that--I have been meaning to do the Sculpture Walk ever since this pandemic started, and now...I have no excuse not to do it!


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