cerezamarrero

Too Many Thinks

Spending too much time down this month...either with the back, or just being sick. It was actually fever brain that got me on this thought path: I have very few regrets in life, but the regrets I have are big ones. Most regrets, I can't do anything about, so I try to not devote much time to them. But one recurring regret is dropping out of college to marry my first husband and never returning to complete my degree. (Before college, I graduated from travel school and got my certificate in travel & tourism. When I began college, I was studying to become an international flight attendant and I wanted to be fluent in several languages.) I made a couple of attempts to return as an adult, but I had to work full time, and since I'm certain I've had autoimmune since I was in high school, packing my schedule that tightly, while raising my daughter, did not work out well for me. I dropped more courses than I actually completed, so my pristine GPA is tarnished now.

Anyway, now that I am not working, I'm thinking about taking online courses. Maybe through the local colleges, but I likely can't afford an undergraduate degree from our local, private university, so I need to keep looking. When I was a foreign language major, my concentration was German & French. I'm barely conversational in those languages nowadays, though I bet it would come back to me quickly if I applied myself. I also still crave a fine arts degree in creative writing or art. 

I'm really just talking through my thoughts right now. I don't even know how seriously I'm contemplating this. (I'm worried some of this may still be coming from fever brain.) First steps will be to see what type of scholarships I might qualify for...then I need to make up my mind on what course of study I'd like to pursue. I'm still young enough I suppose I could get a couple of degrees, but who wants to be in school for the rest of their life?!? Then again, philosophically speaking, life *is* school, and when we stop learning there isn't much point. (I wonder how long I will have this battle waging in my brain?)

I'm also creating my own blog through Wix. I still plan to blog here, too--once upon a time lj was my test kitchen, wherein I would share some of my more experimental writing. It was mostly metaphor and poetry. Years ago my mind was wired to think in metaphor, so I could come here and just type up something on a whim. Sometimes I liked the words or the feel so much, that I'd adapt those words and use them at open mic or for artwork. I miss that. Once my new blog is up and running, I'll share the link. My hope is to use this blog for all that metaphor I spoke of, but also for posts like this. My other blog will be geared specifically to my creative pursuits, but I don't plan on writing my day-to-day commentary there.

So, these are my thinks on a rainy Thursday. I'm in desperate need of a shower as I must have sweat the fever out yesterday & overnight. My sheets and I were soaked when I woke up this morning, so I also need to throw all that bedding in the laundry. Have a great day!

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